A glimpse into middle school teaching agonies

By Stephanie

Have you ever had one of those days when you just wanted to yank your hair out of your head and run around screaming like a mad man uninhibited by the staring eyes of those around you?

Have you ever felt like crying for all the pent up frustration?

Have you ever found the tears welling up like a water balloon full to bursting and fear if you move even an inch it will explode and gush forth without abatement?

Then you have a pretty good idea how I felt in my classes today. What sucks about it too is that I can’t take a break. I am the teacher. I can’t ask to go to the bathroom or turn my back on them nor turn my face away without their noticing. You are in a fish bowl for the 45 minutes you hold them captive.

I can understand having one unruly student. That would be simple to blot out, but what if you have 35 unruly students, 1 attentive student and 4 indifferent students? What do you do then? Do you just give up? Do you yell and scream? Do you sit down and cry like you know you want to?

No. You can’t do any of those things. You must press on! If it’s one thing I’ve learned from Korean’s it’s their immortal motto: “Fighting!” It means that even if you have 10 seconds left on the clock and the score is 40-0 and you happen to be the proud owner of next to -1 you bite, kick, and scream until that fatal bell rings!

So, I didn’t technically bite, kick and scream, but I didn’t sit down and give them up for lost. Yes the classes were utterly dejecting. And no, I didn’t know make up 40 points in the last 10 seconds, but I know that out of the 40 students there is at least one that actually wants to learn, that likes language as much as I do. Those are the ones that I remember when I ask, “What the heck am I doing here? If they don’t want to learn, if they don’t respect me enough to pay the least bit of attention, why even bother?” When I ask this (and believe me it happens often) I think of that one student or those two students in every class that actually look at me when I’m speaking. I think of the ones that ask for clarification because they actually want to improve. I think about the smiles that dawn on their faces when they finally grasp a difficult concept without the use of an interpreter.

No, teaching is not all sunshine and roses. Sometimes the classes will not listen no matter what I do. I will not resort to hitting or yelling as some teachers do so my options are somewhat limited. I appeal to their hearts and often find them merciless. But I know if I continue to be thankful, God can do a great work through me if I keep my tear brimmed eyes on Him. Even in those students that set themselves against me.

I cling to those times when my hard work is rewarded by my few star pupils. These times are few, but they’re worth it.